Hitler Hated Red Lipstick
I'm just saying
It’s been A Journey since the last newsletter: Sleepless toddler-teething-and-nightmare nights, long learning-to-walk-and-then-running-into-traffic days, a perfectly planned second pregnancy with an unsurprising second round of debilitating morning sickness, and, most draining, just absolutely abysmal and inescapable news cycles. Meanwhile, I’ve had waning and waxing (mostly waning) energy for beauty.
But this is a safe space for beauty, so let’s recap that: Last summer was a love affair with orange lipstick in shades of toasted sunburned clementine and terracotta, often with bronzed skin and eyelids. Then the light changed, the pool closed, and it was time for a no-makeup hibernation. I didn’t want a single drop of bright color anywhere near my face. I could do tinted moisturizer and lip balm, no more.
But then, just before Halloween, I saw this article on Into the Gloss, and French girl red lips burrowed into my subconscious. I found myself idly googling “best red lipstick,” then really seriously googling “best red lipstick,” then methodically skimming through swatches on Sephora trying to find… the best red lipstick.
(And, if you do decide you want to mix your politics and beauty, for your inspiration here’s an article about red lipstick and the suffragette movement, and another one about red lipstick and World War II.)
Over the months, I amassed a tidy little arsenal—and sent way too many selfies and gushing texts to ever-patient friends. Here’s where it started and how it’s going.
The First and Forever: Sephora Collection Cream Lip Stain in 01 Always Red
My friend Kyra gifted me a mini set of Sephora’s Cream Lip Stains, and when the Red Fever struck, I dug it out and dipped into the teeny tiny vial of Always Red. It’s a slightly blue-leaning neutral, friendly, vibrant red that reminds me of the glow of stop lights, even if that’s not exactly the color. When you’re wearing it, you’re wearing red lipstick, but to me it feels easy, with no costumey pin-up or vampy vibes.
This shade also began my transformation into A Mom Who Is Put Together At The Park, i.e., Yes I Am Wearing Lululemon But I Have Lipstick On, So I Am Not A Schlub. I also wore this shade when I started training to become A Person Who Runs (And Keeps Getting Injured Despite A Very, Very Conservative Training Plan, But That’s Another Story). There’s something deeply satisfying about wearing a red lip with athletic/outdoors clothes. I wear this one to feel most like myself.
The Formula: The advantage of transfer-proof liquid lipsticks is that they stay mostly immaculate through eating and drinking. The downside is that they can look like you dipped your lips in a can of Sherwin Williams. But Sephora’s Cream Lip Stain is one of the best liquid lipstick formulas I’ve tried. The big lie of this formula is that it’s not truly transfer-proof: on Halloween my sweet son was determined to stick his fingers in my mouth and smeared red all over his hand and my face. (It cleaned up easily, it wasn’t a big deal.) It will get on your mask and disappear if you eat a burger. But, it only transfers a little on my beverage can and coffee cup! And it doesn’t move around on the lips, so it doesn’t feather or get on the teeth. Best of all, it looks like beautiful glowy lipstick instead of paint. And, bonus, Sephora Collection tends to be on extra sale (i.e. recently 30 percent off) during Beauty Insider events.
$15 at Sephora
The Target Impulse Buys: L’Oreal Paris Colour Riche in 125 Maison Marais and 297 Red Passion
Postpartum anxiety in this pandemic is, truly, off the charts. You can read this very good New York Magazine article about it. So after I fell hard for Always Red and simultaneously endured a serious bout of disrupted toddler sleep (a.k.a. CIA torture), running and thinking about red lipstick became sincerely crucial to my wellbeing. So, when my dear husband Eric sat in the car with Killian so I could do our monthly Target run for diapers and sundries, I took a three-minute self-care detour through the beauty aisles and picked up L’Oreal’s Maison Marais because it was $5.50 and the French name hinted at a French red. The color turned out to be more electric/coral red than the blue red I associate with French style. I wasn’t completely sold on it, so the next time I went to Target I grabbed Red Passion, a more neutral-blue medium red that really really worked for me.
The Formula: The discovery of Colour Riche was life-changing. It feels like the most perfect cushy lip balm, and it quickly became my new favorite for running. BUT: It has a powdery scent that literally doesn’t work for my sweet toddler—I got a little kiss smudge on his cheek, and he immediately broke out in hives. So I sterilized and gifted my two tubes to my friend Svati, and I have to say, they look so much better on her, it’s not even funny.
$5.50ish at Target
The Millennial Blotted Moment: Glossier Generation G in Zip
With my red lipsticks reduces from three to one, Black Friday and Cyber Week arrived with perfect timing. The first of my orders to arrive was Glossier. I had Zip before the pandemic (so, a million years ago), and liked it. I got it again for a casual poppy lip, and it’s satisfactory. The color is warm to the point of not reading true red, but it’s also not not red. I wear this one to feel casually hip.
The Formula: Generation G launched the American wave of blurred, blotted lipsticks that have been popular in Korea for quite some time. But it’s not my favorite: If your lips aren’t clean and scrubbed, it tends to go on patchy, which sort of defeats the purpose of having a quick and effortless-looking color to slather on. I find myself grabbing a tissue when I’m on my way out the door, so I can give my lips a quick scrub before I swipe it on “effortlessly.” It’s also not particularly hydrating, and it tends to wear off in an uneven ring instead of a cute stain. Reddit says Mac’s Powder Kiss lipsticks are superior, and I believe it. That said, Glossier’s colors are quite good.
The Queen: Pat McGrath MatteTrance in Elson
My friend Felt and I have been sharing a back and forth of makeup validation for a few years now, in which she sends me her sparkle-insect eye makeup lewks and I send her my lipstick-forward selfies. She’s a big fan of Pat McGrath’s all-time-great eyeshadow palettes, so it was to her I turned for instigation when I was debating whether to pull the trigger on getting one of Pat’s MatteTrance lipsticks on sale for $14 instead of the staggering usual price tag of $38. I went for Elson, a classic old Hollywood blue red, and oh my god it’s so good. I’d been scared to embrace the blue side because I love myself in warm tones, but no, this is it. This is The Red. My skin looks brighter, my teeth whiter, my hair shinier. Obsessed doesn’t begin to describe it. I wear this one to feel like a big deal.
The Formula: Thank you, dear Felt, because holy shit. The pigment is dialed to eleven, yet the feel on the lips is like the thinnest veil of an ultra-bougie face oil serum. (That’s because it uses squalene.) The finish is a glowy satin until you eat or drink something, and then it feels like there’s absolutely nothing on the lips, even as 90 percent of the pigment remains, immaculate and matte. Where the Sephora lip stains are a bit of a parching experience, this lipstick really isn’t—which is crazy considering how shockingly lightweight it is. $38 is a lot to gamble on picking the right shade, so ideally try before you buy—but either way, if you see them on steep sale again, snatch one up. If I’m not selling you, you can read more about the attention to detail that Queen Pat put into these here.
$38 at Pat McGrath
The Return to Sephora: Sephora Collection Cream Lip Stain in 96 Red Velvet
When I wasn’t out jogging, I was recuperating from jogging by binge-watching The Great, an excellently funny and witty show on Hulu about Catherine the Great. Elle Fanning, who plays the titular character, wears the most gorgeous blackberry-stained lips, which I absolutely cannot pull off. What I can pull off is Red Velvet, which I picked up on holiday sale. It’s a gorgeous Georgian cranberry-tinged red that would look amazing with a powdered wig but looks equally good strolling through the snow or lounging in a nap dress, if you’re lucky enough to have time to lounge and also own a nap dress. I wear this one to feel like a snow princess.
The Formula: This shade doesn’t wear quite as nicely on its own as Always Red, and is prone to going patchy more quickly. But! A dab of lip balm smoothes it right out, which is quite satisfactory.
The Balm: Honest Beauty Lip Crayon Lush Sheer in Rose
This is a story about big bold full coverage red, but a full arsenal benefits from a sheer option. In a full-circle moment of friendship and makeup, sweet Kyra just gifted me the most beautiful sheer crayon balm. Think Dr. Pepper Lipsmacker, but all grown up, with more color and made with clean ingredients. I wear this one to feel like a Bridgerton, and also on dates because A Red Lip is not particularly approachable for sweet Eric.
The Formula: I’ve tried *so many* tinted balms, and this is one of the greats. It has actual color payoff and actual moisture, in cute sturdy packaging to boot. It’s not as pocket-friendly as, say, the Burt’s Bees (the closest option I can think of), but the pigment is better and the slightly stiffer formula lasts longer on the lips.
$13 at Honest Beauty
Additional Sundries
When statement lipstick is your daily uniform and/or whole personality, your quality of life will benefit greatly from a few key extras.
For lips that are enduring a matte every day, even a really exceptional one like Pat’s, a morning lip scrub is not so much extra as it is really beneficial for eliminating the rough patches that are invisible until you try to put a lipstick over them. My friend Whitney got me the one from Bite Beauty and I love it, but I think they’re pretty much all created equal.
Also crucial: a good night balm. Svati gave me a mini of the Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask, which Kyra also swears by, and I am now sold. It’s a bit thicker and more tacky than Vaseline, so it stays better through the night. (I do often reapply when the toddler screams at 2 a.m.) On it’s own it’s a nice gloss, too.
Lipstick removal is ~a breeze~ when you use a cleansing balm, which also makes face washing a general breeze. I love the Farmacy Green Clean but honestly the Juno Skin one is really really similar (right down to the pretty citrus scent) for a fraction of the price. Both melt literally every shred of grime, oil, and pigment from your skin, then rinse very clean without stripping. Use one and spare your linens from red smudges.